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Stop Discounting Your Feelings!




Happy Hump Day y’all!


I’ve been MIA on my blog. I was blogging more frequently after I quit my job and I was determined to get something off the ground for myself, by myself. Unfortunately, with life, the only thing we can’t speed up or buy more of is… TIME. So, I quickly realized that the timing wasn’t right and I got an awesome opportunity that believe it or not was completely—GOD’S WILL. (Long story there but it basically fell into my lap).

O

kay so here’s my thoughts as of lately:

As many of you may or may not know, I struggle with addicted family members. Since I last wrote a blog, my uncle has passed who struggled with addiction.


Some people just don’t get it… Some are extremely harsh and some believe it’s all a CHOICE.


I am here to be an advocate for the addict. Although in many ways, I DO have resentment built up for the addicts in my life- there’s ONE thing I know to be true.

WE ARE ALL MEANT FOR DEEP AND PERSONAL HUMAN CONNECTION.

WE ALL NEED IT WHETHER WE ADMIT IT OR NOT.

WE ALL NEED A LISTENING EAR.

 WE ALL NEED TO SAY WHAT WE FEEL AND TO FEEL WHAT WE SAY.


& that’s not what we all do.


Many of us hide behind a mask because we don’t want to be considered weak, or complainers or sadly enough many of us think we can ‘do it all on our own’… even more sad, we may think ‘NO ONE CARES.’


I am here… right now, for YOU! & I care.


Whether you think the issue is too little or too big, whether you don’t think you deserve to feel this certain way… YOU DO!


Whether you’re an addict or your life is perfect, your feelings still matter!


You do deserve to feel no matter how insignificant you believe what you are feeling is & comparing your pain to someone else’s pain is irrelevant.


We all must learn to put it into perspective.


Someone’s pain could be someone else’s biggest victory. It DOESN’T flipping matter if you don’t ‘THINK’ Jill’s life is hard and you can’t stand her because she acts like it is. It’s Jill’s life, Jill’s perspective and Jill’s REAL LIFE FEELINGS!!!


I say all of this because I believe with my ENTIRE being that most addicts are people that have kept those feelings in. They tried to self sooth and talk themselves out of these REAL emotions they have felt.


But instead of feeling, they have found something that numbs them.


Statistically, many of those feelings were brought to them by things like neglect, rape, abuse and you name it but some of them are simply self-manifested feelings about never being enough, or not doing enough…. And the list goes on!


It doesn’t matter the severity, what matters is the SINCERITY.


BE there for someone today.


Force the tough conversations. Ask the tough conversations.


If you can have the tough conversations soon enough, it may even prevent them from entering addictive cycles!


LET’S STOP associating counseling, peer support, and talking about our feelings as a sign of weakness…


Let’s flip the script people because someone who can let it out is a freaking WARRIOR!!!!

Let’s encourage each other and let’s be open to accepting that one person’s feelings are THEIRS and there’s no other way to feel about it other than exactly what it is and what they feel!

& you also know something else that is extremely contradicting?


If you are Christ centered and Christ focused…. You LOVE through the addictions and the battles.


There’s all this personal development advice out there that claims you ‘Must rid yourself of toxic people’ but you know what Jesus did—HE HUNG OUT WITH THE PROSTITUES, THEIVES AND THE SINNERS… he surrounded himself with them because he LOVED them.


“Jesus had a heart for all of us who make big mistakes. Jesus has a heart for all the word’s “throw-aways,” and he is seeking them out no matter what they or you or I have done. Jesus never writes anybody off. And do you know why Jesus never writes anybody off? It is because his mission – his whole purpose – was to seek out the broken and to restore them back to life. This is what Jesus says about his mission (finishing in Matthew, Chapter 9): “It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. Go and learn what this means. I desire mercy, not sacrifice, for I have not come to call the righteous; I have come to call the sinners.”


If you seek to love just ONE imperfect person, you create an audience for even more hurt people to come to you and open their hearts for change.


If you are going through something difficult and you can’t currently be a disciple to someone else due to your own struggles, that’s OKAY! But don’t resent someone else for their struggles. Try to understand their perspective but make sure they know you love them too!

Although I do have compassion for those that struggle, I do want to make it clear of one MASSIVELY important point:


ONLY YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE… EACH DAY YOU CAN TAKE JUST ONE SINGLE STEP INTO WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO DO!


I know we all want to see instant gratification and instant change but if you take one step every single day… you are going to be closer than yesterday.


If your addicted to drugs, take that step to get counseling and figure out why you are masking the REAL pain in your life?


If your addicted to alcohol, take that step into talking about why it’s such a vice for you?

If your addicted to food, take that step and ask yourself ‘Where is the void in my life and why am I filling it with food instead of faith, family, fellowship etc.?’


If your addicted to shopping, take that step and just ask yourself ‘Why are these material things making me happy & how can I find happiness in something real and tangible?’


The list goes ON & ON but one thing holds true and that is that ACTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANALYSIS when it comes to stepping into your life and showing up as the best version of YOU!


Stop ‘thinking’ about how you’re going to fix this mess you’ve got yourself into and DECIDE on that small action you can take to head the direction you want to go.


I want you all to remember that addiction is not just drugs and alcohol… although those are the most common and dangerous to our physical health… there are many of us addicted to things that don’t serve us or aren’t great for our mental health… reality TV, Social media, shopping, food, gossiping, comparing ourselves, worrying…. The list goes on.

My hope with this blog is that you all begin to take one step…. Maybe that first step is getting real with yourself and just asking yourself, “WHY does xx make me feel better?”

There’s strength in that question alone because you will be vulnerable and honest with yourself and you can break it down and begin working on the root of the problem instead of sweeping it under the rug!


Nothing can be fixed if it’s never addressed. If you need someone, reach out! I am here and I know you have several people surrounding you as well but ONLY YOU, yes you reading this can set the trajectory for your life!


https://www.ministrymatters.com/lead/entry/1146/the-company-you-keep-why-jesus-week-2

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